Twitterati: 3 Paces of Dwarf-man

This is my third story in the Twitterati series. As usual format of this fiction is thus. I create a post with a bunch of imaginary tweets (or conversation) from characters in a story. The story itself would be loosely based (i.e. I have taken a lot of creative liberty to twist the tale) on some myth or legend. There are some obvious anachronisms here such as twitter and mobile connectivity.

Today's tale is a spoof of one myth that I first read in an Amar Chitra Katha comic written by the one and only Anant Pai. For the uninitiated he is better known as Uncle Pai to couple of generations who grew up visualizing myths and history through his comics long before Television started creating series about popular myth and historic characters. Thus I would like to dedicate this post to Uncle Pai. May his soul rest in peace.

Once upon a time there was a Demon king - @GreatBaLee. He rose from the underworld, conquered the Earth and most of Heaven. @ThunderLord managed to save his throne and escape with some Apsaras on his elephant. As the tale begins, @GreatBaLee has decided to perform the Horse Sacrifice - the ultimate sacrifice performed by a King to announce his reign. 

@GreatBaLee
Come on Guru. I could just attack @ThunderLord and dethrone him... Nearly did that last time until he pulled out some special trick.

@ThankGodItsFriday
Trust me ... Horse Sacrifice will be great. It will establish your rule in a blood less way.

@GreatBaLee
Whatever you say.

@ThankGodItsFriday
Muhahahaa... @GreatBaLee seems to have bought the horse sacrifice idea. This will be fun to watch as @ThunderLord hides behing his Apsaras. Can't wait to see @ThunderLord's pride bite the dust. A direct war would have been just too honorable for that egotist.

In the mean time somewhere near @WishNo's abode.
@ThunderLord
That smart ass @ThankGodItsFriday knows I have no army left, so he wants to humiliate me by having me loose whatever is left of my kingdom to the horse sacrifice... @WishNo that demon king is your devotee. Do something.

@WishNo
Do you mind ... I was just about to have an intimate moment with my wife ...
Alright what do you mean by "do something". When he attacked the first time you were to busy with clubbing with ladies ... err ahem (with a naughty smile) .. I mean Apsaras.

@ThunderLord
Hey .. I was Not clubbing !! .Just watching the dance program of the Apsaras. You know a King's got to promote Art. Besides he attacked on a Friday night. Even a King is allowed to relax a little on Friday. He must have got this idea from his guru that weasel @ThankGodItsFriday.

@WishNo
Yeah right ... Art.. huh !! Think everyone knows that you are interested in the artists more than their art.... Nevermind.. remind me why should I get rid of @GreatBaLee.

@ThunderLord
I don't have much of a problem with @GreatBaLee. He is a good guy. But come on!!! .. he represents the underworld ... You can imagine how powerful his kinsmen would be if they didn't fear us.

@WishNo
Admit it. You are jealous of @GreatBaLee and are afraid that the Apsaras will flip for him if you loose.

@ThunderLord
... Mmmm.... Mmmm .... Alright Alright. I am jealous. Just get rid of him.

@WishNo
I am not really keen doing this ... but I think I'll try out a new super hero persona I have been working on... The pint sized, non violent super-hero Dwarf-Man.

@ThunderLord
Whatever .. just get rid of @GreatBaLee.

On the day of the horse sacrifice, @WishNo appears in @GreatBaLee court in his super hero get up.
@Dwarf-Man is a literally a dwarf. A frail, bald Monk, dressed in saffron, holding a little umbrella.

@DwarfMan
Oh @GreatBaLee I hear you are very generous. Won't you give some alms to this poor monk.

@GreatBaLee
Sure. The @GreatBaLee philanthropic foundation will be happy to help. Guru @ThankGodItsFriday would you mind getting the cheque book and I'll sign over a 10000 swarna mudras to this little monk.

@DwarfMan
I don't want your money. I just want 3 paces of land.

@ThankGodItsFriday
Its a trap. @GreatBaLee just kick him out. He is an evil gnome sent by @ThunderLord.

@GreatBaLee
No can do @ThankGodItsFriday. I have given my word... When it comes to philanthropy I don't go back on my word. @DwarfMan Don't think of me as mocking you ... but you are so small, 3 paces of land with the size of your foot .... that's like nothing.. Are you sure ? I could just sign over a handsome amount in cheque.

@DwarfMan
I don't believe in the banking industry. Just let me measure my 3 paces of land and I'll be off.

@ThankGodItsFriday
@GreatBaLee I am telling you, this is some devious scheme from that @ThunderLord. Kick him out.

@GreatBaLee
That old man @ThankGodItsFriday is nuts. @DwarfMan please go ahead with your measurements.

@DwarfMan
 By the power of @WishNo

@DwarfMan Raises his umbrella like He-Man's sword and calls upon his super power and grows to a massive size. In his first stride he steps on all heaven, in his next stride he covers all Earth. He is ready to put his third stride, but nowhere to place it.

@DwarfMan
@GreatBaLee - I told you 3 paces are enough. Now where do I put my third step.

@ThankGodItsFriday
Told you that its a trap. You moron @GreatBaLee now your generosity has cost us everything we conquered.

@GreatBaLee
Ohh s**t .... s**t ... S**T !!! .. should have listened @ThankGodItsFriday.
Still I am a man of my word. All I have left is me, so you can place your third step on my head.
PS - I know @DwarfMan is really @WishNo ....Don't forget I am a devotee

@DwarfMan
Yeah @GreatBaLee I know you are my devotee... But @ThunderLord is among my kinsmen. You know the deal - family comes first. I'll just push you back in your underworld, you can stay there for an eternity.

@ThunderLord
Hey Apsaras ... Lets party, Open the bar. I am back in business. @WishNo you rock !.
Lets do an Apsara calendar... Get ready in your best swimwear.

@WishNo
Spoken too soon @ThunderLord. @GreatBaaLee - Figure this, since you have been a good guy I'll grant you a boon. Once every year you can come back to Earth and there will be a party all over the streets that night. There will be fireworks, people will rejoice and light lamps....Nobody will remember @ThunderLord then.

From that year on, the return of @GreatBaLee is celebrated on the third day of the "Festival of Lights". It sure is a party worth watching.